Ethan's Sharing

April 15th, 2024

My butterfly story started after my arrival in Hong Kong. It was only after I met Amii in February of 2023 that I began to connect this little creature to the significance it has come to mean to me today.

The year of 2023, my last in Hong Kong, was a tough year. After unexpectedly injuring my back at a pivotal time in my ballet career, I was left desperate and searching for answers, healing, and hope. My relationship with Christ, with its beginnings as a young boy in Sunday school and bible summer camps, had become distant after I left home to pursue a career in professional ballet. After leaving my hometown in California for Hong Kong in 2019, the best moments and years of my life somehow seemed to coincide with the biggest challenge I had faced so far. It was then that I ran back to God - which I am not embarrassed to admit was out of pure desperation - and found a loving Father who knew me not for my accomplishments as a ballet dancer, but embraced me as His beloved son.

During this stormy season, I met Amii, who later became my Hong Kong godmother. We both connected deeply because of the hardships we were experiencing: Amii with the recent loss of her husband, Bruce, and me with my injury and career uncertainty. There is power in sharing the hurt that we feel with others: to empathize, to share the burden, to strengthen one another. This is why I think the Lord introduced me to Amii. After some time knowing her, she began to share with me the stories that are now written in the book The Butterfly Effect. As she shared more and more, I saw not only the precious joy that filled her eyes when she spoke about her butterfly encounters, but the profound and meaningful strength that she felt through such a small, delicate creature. Naturally, I began to think of ways in which butterflies resonated with me.

My first conscious encounter with a butterfly happened as I embarked on a two-month backpacking trip to mainland China. Between the busyness of Hong Kong and all the decisions that needed to be made about my career, I was overwhelmed and decided to take some time to refresh my mind before heading back home to the USA. I boarded a train from Hong Kong to the Guangxi province in southwest China - a place known for mountainous karsts divided by streams and rivers, full of lush valleys dotted with rice farmers laboring in the fields while fish danced in the waters nearby. The day after I arrived, I rented a scooter and decided to ride along one of these rivers. About ten minutes into my ride, my eyes were shocked to see a colossal butterfly, at least 40x40 feet (about 12x12 meters) etched in color into the facade of a karst looming above me. I had to turn back to take a picture for Amii. As I stood on the side of the road, looking up at this gargantuan butterfly, I couldn’t help but laugh. This creature seems to be getting bigger, I thought. So big that I couldn’t miss it. That was my first personal encounter with the symbol that has evolved to mean much more to me than just a little flying insect.

Throughout my time in the mainland, there were many more occasions in which the butterfly showed up. One time it landed on my bike as I took a moment to pray, another after I made a bold move to be a little more public with my faith, and sometimes even when I doubted if I was walking in line with God’s will. Maybe I only saw them because I was predisposed. But in the end, is that such a bad thing?

At this point, while the presence of butterflies had become an expected part of everyday life, its symbolic beginnings were still known to me only through the stories and pages of The Butterfly Effect. It was during a trip to Singapore that I fully understood the significance it held in Amii’s relationship with her late husband, Bruce.

Upon returning to Hong Kong after my trip to China, I decided to visit my relatives in Singapore. The timing coincided with one of Amii's business trips, so we decided to fly together. On the day we set out to leave, it was clear from the beginning that we were not traveling alone. We were chatting in the car on our way to the airport, and as I turned to face Amii I caught a glimpse of something white and yellowish flying just outside her window. I stopped what I was saying and pointed. She followed my finger with her gaze and was delighted to see a butterfly flying just an arm's length away on the other side of the window. One could say it was a good omen for the rest of the trip. Little did we know, the butterfly encounters for the day were just beginning.

After arriving at the airport and boarding our flight, we parted ways to our separate seats. We settled down and, as the flight staff was about to proceed with the safety demonstration, Amii appeared through the curtains at the front of the aisle holding a little paper butterfly. Apparently, the stewardess had written letters and made personalized paper origami for each passenger in the class, and it just so happened that Amii had received the only butterfly on the flight. To add to the surprise, the seat that was assigned to Amii was the same seat that was assigned to Bruce the last time they flew together from the USA to Hong Kong. It was a happy coincidence. ("Amii's Taking Flight" story)

The flight continued on its way and I very quickly fell soundly asleep, comforted with the knowledge that the trip was off to a blessed start. At some point during the flight, I was jolted awake by the sudden yanking of my seatbelt across the tops of my legs and shrieks of other passengers on board the plane. My mind still half asleep and unclear whether in a dream or reality, I quickly fell back into my slumber, unbothered by the seemingly 'near death experience’ I had just encountered. A couple hours later, the flight landed safely and Amii and I gathered our bags to proceed to the taxi stand. A short time into the taxi ride, Amii excitedly turned to me as if just remembering something and said, “Oh! Did you feel the turbulence during that flight? I thought, ‘Are we going to meet you, Jesus?’” We erupted into laughter, and it was confirmed that it was not an event in my dreams, but did in fact happen. It was a strange occurrence, but we kept a good humor about it. From what I knew about Bruce, it seemed like this approach to life was a little bit of him coming out of Amii. Through Amii’s words, I saw a part of Bruce: the easy-going, nonchalant, humoristic attitude. In that little moment, it felt as if I had the privilege to share a memory with the man whom I had never known, but heard so much about. Through the stories, the memories, the tears, and especially the laughter, Amii’s love for Bruce and his love for Amii has been passed on and continues to flow generously from the One who loves us the most. Thank you, God.

About six months later, Amii came to visit my family and me in California for Chinese New Year. I had spent the previous couple days preparing the guest room for her, vacuuming floors, dusting curtains and making the bed, a routine I had become accustomed to and therefore didn't pay much attention to what I was cleaning. The evening Amii arrived, I gave her a tour of the room and began closing the windows as it tends to get cold at night. "What about this?” Amii asked as she motioned towards the bathroom window. Noticing the curtains were still open, I went over to close them. “No, what about this?” she emphasized as she took hold of the curtain and shook it for specificity’s sake. It was then I realized, after living in the house my entire childhood, the curtains in the guestroom bathroom had hundreds of little multicolored butterflies printed on the cloth as a design. We laughed a laugh that had come to seem familiar, by the love of God, and upon a later asking of my mother I discovered she had handpicked that design and custom made that curtain nearly 15 years ago. Lesson learned: sometimes it takes someone else’s perspective to realize the blessings that were there all along.

"The butterfly curtain"

On our way to Sausalito

Since meeting Amii almost a year ago, butterflies have continued to show up too many times for me to list here. They’ve shown up in times when I’ve hoped something would happen, and it did. They’ve also shown up when it didn’t, and even in times when I had doubts about whether I was following the path God intended. I've taken the butterfly - whether on a curtain, as a paper origami, or a ginormous mountain carving - as a sign, not necessarily of a specific outcome but of God’s presence. I’ve taken it as a reminder that no matter the circumstance, He yearns to be in close relationship with us, and He is always showing us He is there. We only need the eyes to see it. The all-knowing, omnipresent, and omnipotent God is also a personal God. He knows us intimately - down to the little things like airplane seat numbers and curtain designs - the things that He knows will resonate with us the most. Today, I take the butterfly as a reminder that in all things, God is still working. Maybe the butterfly is His way of showing us His love, showing us that He is here with us, that He is for us, and that He is fighting for us. My butterfly story is far from over, but I take the butterfly as a loving reminder that in all things, God wants my focus on Him. In all things, God is right here with me. In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. No matter what shape or form your butterfly comes in, let it be a reminder that God is with you every step of the way.

Romans 8:28 NIV “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”